A potluck of Humanity

I hate the parking at this place.

For reference, I am a bit of a clutzy parker. Like, I am actually surprised that I havent gotten more passive aggressive notes in parking lots about my lousy parking skills. Something about my lack of spatial awareness, being 4’11” and struggling to see over the steering wheel, and driving a big vehicle always (I’m a jeep girl) makes it so that parking does not become me. 

This added to already being late because I forgot my shoe, lost my phone, and spilled coffee on myself and had to change shirts because you can see my nipples, means that I am 30 minutes late to meet one of my nearest and dearests for a catch up. I berate myself the whole way, thinking

“why cant i get it together?”

mixed in with “its probably just mom brain”

and trying to remember who i was before I had a kid. 

I approach the coffee shop. And she is there. She smiles, embraces me, and I blurt out

“i am so sorry! I am so late”

She looks at me with warmth and says “babe, its really ok” 

We sit, we start to catch up and I mention to her how hard it is for me to be on time these days. Followed immediately with “its probably just a mom thing”. She giggles a little bit.

“Oh hunni. You have always been like this. Whenever I meet with you, i bring a book because I know you will be at least 20-30 minutes late.” 

I. am. Mortified. 

WHAT? I reply. IS THAT TRUE? BUT LIKE, ONLY SINCE I HAVE BEEN A MOM RIGHT. 

no  hunni. Always. 

Sometimes someone brings something to our attention that shifts how we see ourselves. This was one of those moments for me. 

In the midst of my feelings of shame, i offer profuse apologies, assure her that i value her time, and promise to address my issue as soon as possible. 

“Babe. its ok. I like it. I get some time to myself. You are lovely” she says. 

Never have I been offered feedback with such warmth and love and unconditional recognition. This is my humanity being seen. This is me unmasked and raw. I am actually kind of a mess. And instead of being frustrated with that fact about me, my dear friend, offers me compassion, love, and CELEBRATION? 

My humanity in all of its facets, even those that annoy other people, or would be considered not right, is worthy of celebration and recognition. And so is yours.